Project Runway: The New Season

Well girls and boys, Project Runway has started again. And this time we have 90 WHOLE MINUTES per episode. Which means 30 more minutes of designer drama and Tim Gunn-isms. As long as there is more Gunn, I'm good.

This season started off differently. 17 designers from literally ALL over. With some pretty odd names, pretty quirky personalities, and the same old stereotypes. We have Peach, Casanova and Mondo. And then there's Jason "Bowler Hat" Stapler. More to come on him.

The cast "met" in odd locations through NYC, reminiscent of The Real World. It was awkward and hard to follow. When the designers do finally all converge in one location, it's the Lincoln Center and to meet Heidi and my man Tim.

Once they are welcomed and given the cursory "You're the best group Project Runway has ever had!" from Tim, it is revealed they are STILL auditioning. That's right, they have an immediate challenge! The first part of the challenge they are asked to remove one item of clothing from their luggage to use in their design. But wait...in typical Heidi fashion, their's a twist. Each designer is asked to hand their garment to the person on their right! Some people, namely Casanova, are visibly shaken up. Poor, poor Casanova. But not so much really. Anyone who has watched PR knows there is always a twist. So big C the next time Heidi asks you to pick something out, maybe you shouldn't choose a pair of $1007 pants! (I could go on and on about this particular topic, but I won't. There is just no point.)

Once in the work room, they are introduced to their workspace, their "Brother" sewing room and their HP Touchsmart tmt2 drawing pad. AND because they are SO considerate, PR has arranged for Mood to come to the designers so they can get to work right away! Isn't that sweet???

The designers have five hours to design and finish their look, and are reminded by the Gunn to use the Piperlime accessories wall "thoughtfully".

As the Gunn walks the room, there are some noticeable "worries" he has, and the look he gives the camera as he walks away from Jason of the Bowler Hat fame is absolutely priceless. I have a feeling these extra thirty minutes of Tim are going to be well worth my time!

The closer the runway time gets, the more stressed out and frantic our designers get. Jason resorts to stapling his backward kimono closed. Which makes one pause to wonder...exactly what did he do in the last five hours? Because this garment is not styled, not deconstructed, not sewn anywhere. So what exactly did he do with his time? I'm thinking he went around scaring the bejeezus out of everyone else with his hat and his sewing corset. OR maybe he had some lunch and took a nap. He certainly didn't design.

Runway time comes and it is clear there are some hot messes about to walk down that runway. Heidi introduces the judges. The ever orange, oompa loompa looking Michael Kors. The glowing, Loubotin devotee, Nina Garcia. And this week's guest judge Selma Blair who was cute as ever in her sleek bob.

The show seemed to last ages, and I was pleasantly surprised at some of the finished looks. I was also pretty shocked and weirded out by some of the looks. Casanova...I'm looking at you! All I could think of was Jennifer Lopez circa 2000 in the Versace green, plunging down to her knees dress. Only, she actually looked ok in it. Casanova's dress was, as Michael Kors so aptly put it, something you'd see on a "stripper in Dubai". Harsh, but true.

The designers come out and the request safe designers are called out and collapse with relief backstage while seven contestant's remained on the runway. Gretche was named the winner with perhaps the most boring dress in the history of PR (really, Andy's black ensemble should have taken the whole thing. It was amazing!) and the final six are all told they are on the bottom. One by one they are picked apart, particularly Ivy who made the now infamous "Pants from pants" and Casanova, who had to have Nina interpret at one point...and then still didn't understand what they wanted him to say. But then, how does one defend something like that?

In the end, poor McKell was sent packing (apparently because of the styling and not so much because of the actual construction. Excuse me, when did this become Project Style the Model?) over a Dubai Hooker, a backward stapeled kimono, and pants from pants. It wasn't PR's finest moment.

And on another note, did anyone else notice how bitchy Heidi has gotten?

I'm giving PR three more episodes, and if it doesn't get better, not even Tim can keep me watching. It's just not the same on Lifetime.