So if you haven't seen it, and don't want to be surprised by revelations, stop reading now.
Season 2 opened with a montage of last season to refresh our memories. The opening scene was that of Sookie and Tara and Andy finding a dead body in Andy's cop car. The automatic assumption was that it was Lafayette...but lo and behold it was Miss Jeanette, the woman who had performed the "exorcisms" on Tara and her mama. Someone had cut out her heart. Ew. So now the question is "where the hell is Lafayette".
Cut to Bill's house where Eric and Pam show up with Bill's
turned girl Jessica who has become quite the pain in the ass to Eric who can't take her crap anymore and gives her to Bill to train. Bill isn't happy but there isn't much he can do about it. Sookie calls and tells him she'll be late due to the dead body in Andy's car.
Jason is sitting in bed reading The Fellowship of the Sun "bible" and really getting into it. He looks over to the empty side of his bed and gets all teary missing Amy.
At the crime scene Sookie is peeking into the thoughts of those around her and hears Tara thinking about Miss Jeanette. She urges Tara to come clean about her knowing the woman. Of course Andy drags her to the police station and in his drunken state gives her hell until her mama shows up and pretty much corroborates the story but is devastated to find out that Miss Jeanette was a fraud.
Maryann shows up to pick up Tara and confronts Tara's mom, pretty much telling her she was no good and didn't deserve Tara. She whisks Tara away leaving her mom standing there dumbfounded.
Then we're in a dungeon with several people chained to poles, Lafayette being one of them. (Lafayette lives!) The poles are on a circular track and they can all get up and move in a circle, but they have to do it together. A newcomer is brought to the dungeon and another is taken out. Lafayette hides behind a cement pole hoping he isn't picked to be taken upstairs. The newcomer turns out to be the redneck jerk off complaining about Lafayette's "AIDS burgers".
Sookie arrives at Bill's house to find Jessica and gets her panties in a wad about Bill turning Jessica. Not at all concerned that Bill did it because of her. )At this point, Sookie is making me insane with her flip floppy attitude.) Sookie goes home and Bill is left with Jessica and no sex. Poor Bill.
Next morning Reverend Newlin's (Killed in Season 1, leader of the Fellowship Church) son, Steve, is in a heated debated with the American Vampire League's Nan Flanagan. The end of the interview comes and Steve's wife chides him for being too preachy, since she has plans for the Governership of Texas. They head off to a sponsored breakfast where they meet Jason and invite him to a leadership camp for the church with a measly $1200 price tag. Jason scoffs at the price, but they tell him to pray on it and God will give him a sign. Ugh.
Sam shows up at Maryann's with a garbage bag. He is having flashbacks to his youth and showing up at her house. He goes immediately for a mound of food on the table and then notices the surroundings. He was pilfering her art when she catches him. Carl tells Sam Maryann is sleeping and Sam leaves.
At Sookie's house, her lawyer show up to tell her that her Great Uncle Bartlett the Pedophile has died and left her his financial holdings, amounting to about $11,000. She hears that Bartlett the Pedophile was found in the river in what looked like an accident. Sookie has doubts and it's clear she thinks foul play is afoot.
We're back at Maryann's where Tara and Eggs are having a nice chat by the pool. They talk a bit about their troubled pasts and share an almost kiss when they're interrupted by Maryann's houseboy Carl. Maryann gives Carl whatfor later in the house for having interrupted the kiss. Obviously she wants these two together.
Hoyt and Jason are working, talking about life and such when Sookie shows up with the check from Bartlett the Pedophile. She tells Jason what happened and that she doesn't want the money. She gives it Jason and leaves. Jason looks up and sees the sun and takes this is his Sign from God. Oh boy.
Sam is in his office having another vision of his past with Maryann. He is in her room and they are having sex. She starts to get that weird vibration around her and he freaks out. Later she's in the shower and he takes her jewelry and quite a bit of cash and bolts.
Back in the dungeon with Lafayette and Homophob they begin to talk about why they are there. The Homophob says maybe they should share their stories in case one of them escapes and the other can tell people about what happened. The homophob goes first talking about how got busy with his cousins girl, who could crush beer cans with her boobs. Nice trick. Oh, and how he got a blow job from a kid at safety patrol camp. Boys! Sheesh. Lafayette shares how he got in trouble for beating up a bigoted customer...That Lafayette...always finding humor in every situation.
At Bill's house, he's trying to get Jessica to drink Tru Blood but all she does is whine.
At Merlotte's, Maryann shows up to see Sam. Sam tries to give her money and she balks saying that's not what she wants from him. Tara and Eggs have another intimate moment and are able to kiss this time. This is in full view of Sam and Maryann who is clearly happy to see the hookup finally happen.
Sookie shows up, asks Bill if he killed Uncle Bartlett the Pedophile. He says yes. Sookie tells Bill they can't be together anymore. Bill pretty much says "I don't think so" and they end up in bed.
Eric shows up in the dungeon, with foil in his hair. Someone is trying to remain a true blonde. Eric unchains the Homophob telling him they have questions about a certain fire that killed three vampires. The Homophobe fights, throws a sliver cross at Eric's face. Eric loses his shit then and literally tears the Homophobe limb from limb. So much for questioning...Note to self: Don't throw silver crosses at vampires. Makes 'em mad.